Mindy and Wes!

This was such a sweet wedding for me. This location is where my brother had his wedding. I couldn't help reminiscing all that day. I did a pretty good job of keeping my emotions under control while I shot the wedding but when I started editing that when the flood gates opened =(
I sure do miss that guy, but I don't want this post to be all about me so I'll just get to the good stuff:

First thing I noticed was this great spot by the window


Rings were A....MAZING!












Funny moment during the ceremony!










Had to rock the red brick when I saw it!








love this!




The end!

I stumblemed across your picture today...

It's been a year today.

My brother and my oldest son at about the same age.

it hurts so bad everybody tells me
all i need is time then the mornin rolls in
and it hits me again and that ain't nothin but a lie

Grieving today....

for the future I always thought I would have with my brother. Pray for our family, would you?

It's true you know...

If you draw nigh to him, he will draw nigh to you.
Things keep getting sweeter between me and him. Thanks to God for never leaving me, even in my dark times.

Verse 1:
When He moves among us all that He does
all of His mercy and all of His love
and the pen of the writer could write everyday
even this world could never contain
how I've been blessed

Verse 2:
The warmth in winter the flowers in spring
the laughter in summer and the changing of leaves
the food on my table a good place to sleep
clothes on my back and shoes on my feet
I have been blessed

Chorus:
I have been blessed God's so good to me
**precious are His thoughts of you and me**
no way I could count them there's not enough time
so I'll just thank Him for being so kind
God has been good so good
I have been blessed

Verse 3:
Arms that will raise a voice that can talk
hands that can touch and legs that can walk
ears that can listen eyes that can see
oh I've got to praise Him as long as I breathe
I have been blessed

Verse 4:
A father and mother who nurtured and raised
a brother and sisters, memories made
our pastor to lead us the altar to pray
stripes that can heal the blood that can save
I have been blessed


Verse 5:
We live in a country the greatest on earth
our flag stands for freedom and what it is worth
she stands in the harbor Miss Liberty calls
all have gave some but some have gave all
for me to be blessed

Verse 6:
**He's my shoulder to lean on when I am down
the rock where He leads me when I'm overwhelmed
the place where He hides me under His wings**
He's not just a song He's the reason I sing
I have been blessed

Camp Meeting at our chruch

I am receiving help....

Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.




He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy oer your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When what youve done keeps you from moving on
When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart
Know that forgiveness brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound Ive been set free
Ive been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

July

Dear Brother,
This was the last full month I shared with you last year. It's been a long time. I miss you.
I'd sure like one of those hard bunches in the arm that you used to give me, I promise I wouldn't complain if you were here to give it.

God will repair even the most borken in spirit...

Everyday I watch my Mom and Dad, whipping out my magnifying glass, inspecting their every move. Will today be a good day? Are they getting better? Will they ever be happy again? How can I make it better? I wish I was a superhero like back in my cartoon days. I would thrust out my hand and a magic force field would surround them. Even the best crafted weapon forged against them wouldn't penetrate it. I would swoop down on the darkest of days and pull the sun right over to their house.
I'm not a superhero... but I know one. I can pray and ask for all the strength that a tomorrow can hold and KNOW that he is going to swoop down and be our hero. I love the Lord my God and in him my strength is renewed day by day. I know our joy bells will never ring quite the same, our smiles will never be as big and our eyes will never light as bright as when Mikey was with us, but I trust that the bells will ring, we will smile smiles and truly mean them, and our eyes will have a portion of light that is bright enough for the moment....

Hey Mikey, I came across your picture on my blog today and I tried to scroll past it fast but I couldn't. I had to go back and stare at your eyes.
I remembered when we were kids and you got really bad sick on your birthday and days after I was so afraid you weren't going to make it. We were so little then. I remember waiting until it got dark so we could race to get the most lightening bugs, or the last time we boxed it out and I busted your nose and I started crying lol! That was the last time we did that unless you count when we were older and I would try to take you, but I really didn't even have a chance.
Miss you Mikey and I grieve for all the future memories we could have made.
Love always,
The first M in the M and M Gang

This world is not my home I'm just a passing through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue
The angels beckon me from heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore
Oh Lord you know I have no friend like you
If heaven's not my home then Lord what will I do
The angels beckon me from heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore

I have a loving brother just over in Gloryland
And I don't expect to stop until I shake his hand
He's waiting now for me in heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore
Oh Lord you know...

Just over in Gloryland we'll live eternaly the saints on every hand are shouting victory
Their songs of sweetest praise drift back from heaven's shore
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore
Oh Lord you know...

I feel like I hit the mega millions lottery today!!!!

When I first started photography, I was in college and at that time digital cameras were hardly even heard of. So I started basic film photography classes. It was great we took, processed and developed the pictures ourselves. I still to this day get a certain feeling of excitement when I think about fumbling around in the pitch black room trying to load the film onto that real in the canister, the smell of the chemicals the red lights and in the dark room. Mmmm takes me to a special time in photography.
Today I was cleaning my closet and I came across my old portfolio complete with negatives filed nicely in the sleeves. Of course I search crazily for any image that might have me and my brother in it. First page was a hand developed image of me and Mikey. I remember the day clearly, I wanted to go to the Germantown Damn with Travis to get some shots, but he had to work so Mikey took me.
I remember when Mikey died, begging God to help me find some photos of us together and today I truly feel like a Millionaire, no better yet millionaires have nothing compared to the treasure I have just found! Also while searching the negative sheets I found several images of just him. I'm so excited to get them printed
I scanned this on my cheap scanner, but I have the negative too, so I hope I can get a great enlargement.

We can still pray in the desert

Please take a minute to listen to this story behind The Desert Song by Hillsong:




This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides


And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames


And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here


And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand


All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Happy Birthday baby brother!

Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder

A few days ago my sister in law called to tell us the head stone for Mikey's grave was in and they had placed it. We were very excited because we knew it would have a picture of him on it. We all wanted to see if the image would actually look like him. It did and it was beautiful.

Matthew 6:22-21
19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

This was Dad seeing it for the first time

Branson wanted to know if that was Uncle Monkey (they couldn't say Mikey when they were babies so he became Uncle Monkey =)


Branson asking Papaw if that was his car. (Mikey really enjoyed classic cars and he and Dad put one together so they had that pic added to the stone)




Natalie, pirates don't have anything on me either! There isn't any treasure here on earth that will ever compare to what we have in heaven.

Hey Mikey

I think some days go by where I busy myself so that I don't have to think or feel the pain associated with the loss of my brother Mikey. Then at the end of the day it will hit me and I unload in a heap of tears.
I know there are many others out there experiencing the loss of a loved one or a difficult family situation and for all of you I say and try to believe "we will make it through this".

Hey man!
Today was hard. In every instance that I had a second to close my eyes, you were there. In every conversation, you were there. I stopped by and picked Dad up for church (that's right he goes now), you would be so shocked lol! He actually enjoys it. It's precious time spent with him. I know you would have loved to take these trips with us.
Dad is still having a hard time but he is getting stronger. After all you and Lonnie were his best friends and you guys had to go on just a month apart. Couldn't you have spaced it out a bit? I know, I know, you're a Lewis and that's how you roll. =)
You know I missed your visit at Mom and Dad's that night because I was asleep. I wish you would have woke me up and we could have had one last conversation, why didn't you?
I promise I never let Dad see me like this. I am tuff (you would be proud).

Mikey, I am getting to know a new me and she is strange and unfamiliar but she is who I have become. The me that no longer has a brother (here on earth), the single M in the M&M gang. I miss you.
I will forever be thankful for the day you went forward and accepted Jesus Christ in your heart. Can't wait to see you bub!

Exactly how I feel...

music

And I saw it coming
I saw emptiness and tragedy
And I felt like running
So far away
But knew I had to stay
And I know when I'm older
I look back and I still feel the pain
I know I'll be stronger and I know I'll be fine
For the rest of my days

I've seen better days
Put my face in my hands
Get down on my knees and I pray to God
Hope he sees me through till the end

I noticed the smallest things
But I didn't notice the change
It was hot in the morning
Then it turned so cold, twas the end of the day
There was no condensation I just felt like I was in space
I needed my friends there I just turned around
They were gone without a trace

I've seen better days
Put my face in my hands
Get down on my knees and I pray to God
Hope he sees me through till the end

Now I have just started
And I won't be done till the end
There's nothing I have lost
That was once placed upon the palm of my hands
And all of these hard times
Have faded round the bend
Now that I'm wiser I cannot wait
Till I can help my friends

I've seen better days
Put my face in my hands
Get down on my knees and I pray to God
Hope he sees me through till the end

Seen better days
Put my face in my hands
Get down on my knees and I pray to God
Hope he sees me through till the end

Some days are better than others

Your such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void

Something pretty great

So tonight I had a lot of fun and for the space of about two hours, I forgot about the struggles and pain of the past few months. I was just a girl with a camera having fun. I wish life could be that simple...