Sorry I've been MIA

Life as of lately has been extremely difficult....

Virgil Lewis Jr.
December 25, 1954-March 28, 2010

My Dad passed from this life on to a life eternal in Heaven with his son Mikey.
I have wondered for awhile what to say, because every time I venture to write this post, I freeze up and my heart aches. I look at the dash between his birth date and death date and I am angry. That little dash could never account for the life that he lived. It was a life full of strength, devotion, love and so much happiness. He was my best teacher. In fact he continues to guide my life. I have asked myself several times during these last few weeks what Dad would have thought or what might he do in a situation. He taught me to be strong and endure struggles, to square my shoulders and bear the burden. He also taught me in recent years about tears and struggles as I watched him grieve the loss of my brother. I think his heart never healed from that, he was broken and I didn't have the power to heal him. I wish with all that is inside my heart that I could have.
I would have loved to wake up and this was all just a dream. Maybe Mikey would be out in the garage with Dad and Lonnie and I would hear the familiar sounds their laughter as they teased and picked with one another. I would have loved to have my Dad there with me as we watched the boys become old enough to drive and take the camero out for the first time. Maybe we would have thrown a big party for Mom and Dad's 40th anniversary. Maybe we would have all packed into a car and drove up to Amanda's for the birth of her baby. That is how I had it all planned out in my head but that is not the plans that God had in store for us.
I know that His ways are not my ways and I am finding healing in knowing that He did not intend to hurt me with this. I think Dad asked God if He would take him. Dad often told me that he was ready to die and he wasn't afraid. Ever since he asked God into his heart and asked forgiveness of his sins, he had been at peace with death. He knew that his brother and his son were waiting for him in Heaven and he was happy thinking about the reunion.

I don't know how it all works once you get there but I can just imagine the hugging and rejoicing of such a sweet reunion between Mikey, Dad and Uncle Lonnie. Three men that loved each other beyond anything I've ever seen. So I do not morn for that part of Dad passing but oh how my heart aches for the hole that has been left in my life.

I loved him big and deep and I think when you love someone like that there is a root that grows deep into your heart. When they leave us and that root is pulled out...oh the hole that it leaves is painful and empty for a period of time.

I could say so much more, but my heart is aching as it is. I do believe that pictures say my words much better than anything I could type. My Dad bought a point and shoot camera after Mikey died and I believe he wanted to leave us special memories. So I'll leave you with these thousands of words he left me ♥

Mom and Dad on their wedding day


Mikey and Dad (I remember this day)

On Mikey's wedding day


On my wedding day


This moment couldn't be bought with the finest gold


Mom and Dad after my wedding


Dad, I was always thankful that I gave you the grand boys


They made you more happy than I've ever seen














They were part of the healing after Mikey




Love you Dad, you believed in me and I knew I could always count on you.


My first great love story


And boy was it a beautiful story


All the struggles are all passed now Dad. Rest and squeeze Mikey up close to you and tell him how much he is missed and how much I can't wait to see you all again.


For now I'll square my shoulder and continue... just like you taught me.

Updates on my Dad

I'm finding it hard to keep all my sites updated on the progress of my Dad so I decided to open a caring site here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/virgillewisjr I will be attempting to update it daily.
Thank you all from the bottom of this broken heart ;)

It's been a rough week for me. My Dad had a stroke near his brain stem region and we've been with him in the hospital praying for a miracle. I'm trying to keep up with pictures but alas I'm falling terribly behind. If you read this please pray for our family and my Dad.

Don't want to post without a picture or two so here is Kendra's sweet baby girl:

This is so beautiful

Baby it's cold outside!

We are entertaining a guest =(

It's not a happy visit. It's the sickies =( My boys are pretty sick. Mason has had strep for a few days and was put on antibiotic then he spiked another fever and we had to start him on a stronger antibiotic. Now Branson has come down with it. Needless to say all I've done for about 2 weeks now is strip beds and disinfect the house. I have a super fab wedding on Friday so I'm trying very hard to keep from getting sick. Please remember my family in your prayers this week we need it.

Just wanted to let all my wonderful clients know that I am still squeezing in a bit of work at night. I'm trying to keep up with the previews, but I have still fallen a few weeks behind. I will do my best to catch up once we are all feeling well. If you have any questions, email is the best way to reach me. Take care everyone and try not to get sick!
♥ Melissa

My sweet boys!

One thing I've missed the most this year about blogging is connecting with you guys! I miss you lol! I haven't had much time to blog about my personal stuff. So here goes and get ready cause my babies jumped into boys in a blink of an eye!

This is so their relationship










Had to end with a "REAL" smile from Branson lol!

Mason's first day of first grade!

Also my husband gave me a point and shoot camera! I love it. I keep it strapped to my purse and I whip it out in a flash when I need it! YEAH!

He was so excited all day!

Camp Meeting at our chruch

I am receiving help....

Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.




He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy oer your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When what youve done keeps you from moving on
When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart
Know that forgiveness brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound Ive been set free
Ive been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

Thinking of you today.

Natalie, I want to post something for you today because it's been two years since you gave Gavin back to heaven.
I'm thankful I stumbled on you blog and learned of your story. They way you share you heart about your brother's passing has helped me many times. The loss of the future always supposed, continues to be hard for me and so I am sure you are feeling the same. I know today you are going to pull out all your pictures and remember but in your heart is where you'll find the best gift today. So take a few minutes and smile thinking of all the fun you had while he was here, get a box of tissue and cry, really cry... because it's ok to hurt and mourn the tomorrow you always thought would be there. When you're done grab those boys and dance and laugh and make your heart light again.....
I'm thinking of you today and praying.
♥Melissa

Mason's last day in kindergarten!

We are so excited. Today I got Mason off the bus for the last time at 11:30. Next year he goes the full day!



We are so excited! Summer here we come!

NEW WEBSITE IS UP!!!!!!!

Yeah finally!!!! I won't go into detail as to what it took to get the site up and going but let's just say it wasn't easy =(

WWW.MelissaEsterlinePhotography.com

Another Derby pic!

From my beloved Tracy! Thank you dear you make be look great lol!

Winners Circle Derbyshire Tea for Daybreak

I had such a fun day at this event! Check out the info here
More pics to follow
This one was taken by the lovely Sharon! I love these chicks lol!

Out of office notice

I will be out of the office starting tomorrow 4-16 through 4-21.
You can still reach me via email.
Thanks!

Claire it's almost time!!!

This is so going to be my boys one day

My girlfriend got me hooked on this video. She too has two boys and only a mother with two boys can truly appreciate this. Thanks so much Sharon!

The sun did not shine it was too wet to play, so we sat in the house all that cold, cold, wet day.

In search of new fun stuff!

K so I decided today (oh wait it's 2am so technically that would be yesterday) ;) that I wanted to go into Dayton and find a few new areas for pictures. I worked it up in my mind something like this.... "Ok you can do this, you are not afraid to be alone in Dayton, you are independent, strong and confident." I was totally psyched.

It ended up something like this.... "Ok I'm terrified...oh wait did I just miss that turn.....Man this is a one way again!.... Stupid GPS....(palms sweating, heart pounding) Where are the quarters I packed for the parking meter, No turn on red 6am-6pm so where the heck do I go now!!!!"

I was a mess. Every time I go to Dayton alone this is what happens. I was so afraid that my fear prevented me to let loose and notice the beauty or just stuff that would normally catch my eye. I was so mad and frustrated. Solution to problem..... call my beloved Tracy! She shoots in Dayton, maybe she can give me some cool safe locations!

TRACY TO THE RESCUE!!!! Lucky for me she had a senior session within minutes and they were coming to Dayton!! Sweet!
She shows up, whisks me to a few locations and before I knew it all the fear was gone, I was excited and stuff was catching my eye right and left. She does that to me, as a photographer and as a friend, I feel so very relaxed and I get to be me, flaws and all! You don't get to do that with many people. (You are one of my sweetest friends Tracy) Thank you....

I did find a few things in all my turmoil

The sky was so amazingly beautiful

Dayton is full of character

Ahhh blueness

But look at who Tracy brought! This gorgeously beautiful senior with the most beautiful eyes ever!





Hey who's this pretty lady?

Art

Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.....
~Picasso

New website update

Ok so I have my new name, logo and website and it's almost finished. However I just found out that I can't transfer my domain name (which in retrospect was a bad idea to purchase from google) for 60 days after the date of purchase. So right now with that and the time it's going to take to do the transfer, I'm looking at a launch date of April 6th which happens to be my birthday. So I guess the positive spin is that I'm going to get a great birthday present!

Seriously though I am pretty bummed =(

48 Days until the launch!!!